


Cutethulhu

by KoboldKing



Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen, Prompt Fic, Swearing, mild violence, r/writingprompts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-11
Updated: 2018-10-11
Packaged: 2019-07-29 09:11:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16261133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KoboldKing/pseuds/KoboldKing
Summary: A personal care app knows more than it should. That's okay, though! Cutethulhu cares.





	Cutethulhu

In hindsight, the Cthulhu logo should have been a bit more concerning.

In my defense, it was a _cute_  Cthulhu. The massive tangled up squid head was there, as were the claws and dragon wings, but it was done in a chibi style that made me feel... comfy, is the only word for it. It had its arms stretched out as though in a hug. I figured I'd give it a look.

Going to the app's description it turned out to be one of those personal reminder apps; its description read _"Humans don't always remember to do all the little things you should. Fear not! Download this FREE app and have one of my billion eyes look after you!"_

Cute gimmick. Trying a little too hard, I thought, but hey, I'm a sucker for this sort of thing. I downloaded the app and cracked a smile to myself whenever one its little messages would pop up, always with that adorable tentacle-faced mascot.

_"Remember to drink plenty of water! Your cells are mostly made out of it, so you need lots. <3"_

_"Don't stay up too late! I'm always awake but humans need their R.E.M. time!"_

_"Have you thought about getting some exercise? Your ancestors walked miles on the plains and chased rabbits for their dinner. It's good for your muscles to pretend you do the same!"_

Eventually the charm sort of wore off, but I could never bring myself to remove it altogether. The messages _were_  good advice after all, and the _"Do you really want to uninstall?"_ message had a sad version of the Cutethulhu that always made me hesitate.

 _What the hell,_ I thought. _I'll just keep it on._

It just became a part of my life. Occasionally new reminders I'd never seen before would pop up, but I supposed the makers were just updating the app regularly. That was actually nice to see. A lot of apps are uploaded to the store and apparently forgotten by their creators.

There was one day though that flipped the app from cute to creepy in seconds.

I was walking out of a convenience store, late at night. I'd just bought a bag of donettes and was walking to my car when the notification buzz on my phone went off. Looking at it real quick, I saw a message that puzzled and then sent a chill through me.

_"Carbohydrates tend to taste really good, but consider cutting down on the donettes! Your body will store too many of the calories and put you at risk of heart disease and other conditions!"_

My blood ran cold for a moment, but then I became angry.

"Oh, fuck you!" I said out loud, swapping over to the app settings. Fun reminders every now and then were one thing, but monitoring my purchases? That crossed the line from innocent to creepy. I know we live in a world where our data isn't half as private as we think it is, but I at least like the _illusion_  that Google and everybody else isn't keeping track of our information.

I ignored the frowning Cthulhu and tapped the button to uninstall.

 _"But I care about you :(",_ the app told me in a pop-up.

I glared and tapped uninstall again.

_"You need me. Your family has a history of illnesses you could be at risk for if you don't live healthy, in addition to a number of events in your future which could cause you bodily harm."_

That was just fucking creepy. Was it threatening me? I tapped uninstall again, fuming and considering my email to tech support.

_"You can remove me from the digital dimension, but not from the fifth."_

I tapped uninstall again. This time, miraculously, the app actually disappeared. I sighed and pocketed my phone again, heading out to my car.

There was somebody in it.

Rather, on the side of it, rifling through my things through a broken window. He looked as though he were on drugs, and was pocketing some spare cash I always kept in the glove compartment.

"What the hell?" I said without thinking, walking briskly up to my car. "Get out of there or I'm calling the-"

It happened so quickly. He looked up, sunken eyes looking panicked, and whipped something out of his own pocket. There was a loud, sharp cracking noise, and a sudden pain flared in my chest.

I was on the ground bleeding when it finally registered to me that I'd been shot.

I figured I must be in shock. I managed to pull out my phone as I heard the man's footsteps running swiftly away, and my shaky fingers started trying and failing to dial 911. That's when it happened. Another pop-up appeared.

The Cutethulhu icon looked reproachful.

_"See what I mean?"_

I blinked, world going hazy, but another pop-up replaced the other.

_"You were shot by Bill Higgins, who's addicted to crystal methamphetamine. It's very bad for him. I wish he would download my app. Then I would tell him to quit! :("_

I was dying. That was the only thing that made sense to my mind. I was dying outside the convenience store and this was the bizarre dying hallucination my mind had concocted for me.

_"You're bleeding a lot. That's not good. Humans need lots of blood in them! You might need a transfusion but for now you should hold your hand really tightly to the wound. I'll call you an ambulance."_

Was my mind telling me the basic first aid tips I'd read before and mostly forgotten? I didn't know, but I held my hand to my chest anyway. I held it there as tightly as I possibly could.

_"Actually, the ambulance will take too long. There's a man named Robert Lowes who downloaded my app by mistake and he's about to pass an exit that will take him right here. I'll tell him to stop."_

A couple of minutes later, as my mind drifted further into delirium and madness, I heard a car pulling up close by. I was vaguely aware as an older man got out of the car, rushed towards me, and soon had me in his vehicle and rushing to the nearest emergency ward.

I'm told that without the prompt care, I would have died. Robert Lowes, who stuck around to make sure I was fine, excused himself quickly and said he pulled up by happenstance, just in the nick of time.

But he said it without making eye contact, and I _swear_ I saw him look awkwardly at his phone.

The app is on my phone again. I should be mad about that, but I'm not.

I still get the messages, and I've started taking them a little more seriously. It told me I should go into the doctor for some very particular examinations recently, and I think I'm going to get them. I suspect they'll find a small tumor, but I'm not that concerned. They'll probably catch it early.

I should be creeped out, but...

Somebody's looking out for me with one of his billion eyes, focused directly on me at all times.

And that feels comfy.


End file.
